I feel like everything I say gets lost in translation. From thoughts to words, something of significance disappears.

My life is not perfect, but it's a good life. I go to school on a simi-regular basis, I work four shits a week at Springhill, I have a boyfriend named Andrew, who may not be the one but is amazing. My life is good. So, why do I feel like something is missing? Is this is? Is this Happiness? I'm not so sure.

i dont know what i want.
i cant even pick a damn song to listen to on itunes.
frustrating overwhelming and exhausting.
i make a decision just to find that im still not happy.
im still not where i want to be.
or maybe i am, and its just not all i thought it was.
maybe this is it. this is happiness. nothing special. just life.
god i hope this isnt as good as it gets.
there has to be more to life.
if not, what am i living for?

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before theyre forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before its washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n how many years can some people exist
Before theyre allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.


i started PACE on tuesday. so far its okay. im pretty sure that after awhile ill be REALLY bored. i already know all that shit. im never gonna want to do anything, but hopefully i can find something to do while im there cause honestly i have no other choice. i either go to class everyday or i dont graduate. and i NEED my diploma.

im standing on the edge of a cliff.
just waiting.
i dont know what im waiting for.
im scared. and lonely.
standing on the edge.
just looking.
i dont know what im looking for.
im intrigued. and inspired.
im standing on the edge.
just wondering.
i dont know when things will fall into place.
im worried. and impatient.
im standing on the edge.